Sneek´s prank calls

Chapter 8
Accountant Sneek, from Tax office.


Sneek made this and many other phone calls just two days after the self-declaration 
for taxes were due. At the tax office they have only started to sort them, but as 
you can see Svensson doesn´t know very much about such matters:


               
Svensson:    -Svensson.

               
Sneek:       -Is this Olof Svensson?

               
Svensson:    -Yes!?

               
Sneek:       -Good afternoon. I am accountant Sneek from the tax office. I am  
              calling about your declaration. You haven't sent it in, so now you
              have to pay a fine.

               
Svensson:    -I did send it in!

               
Sneek:       -You did? Where if I may ask?

               
Svensson:    -In front of the tax office building, in this big box.

               
Sneek:       -Can you hold on for a second.......(10sec).....Hallo?

               
Svensson:    -Yes.

               
Sneek:       -I'm sorry. I found it. We put it aside, because there are some 
              questions we would like to ask you.

               
Svensson:    -Really?!

               
Sneek:       -It is concerning your summer cottage.

               
Svensson:    -Yes?

               
Sneek:       -Where is your cottage?

               
Svensson:    -It's on the Ingarisland.

               
Sneek:       -Right. Right. How much is the ratable value you wrote here?

               
Svensson:    -Well, it was one hundred and eighty thousand.

               
Sneek:       -Yes, that's what you wrote, but this is deception. We have been 
              out to look at it. The true value is at least twice that much.

               
Svensson:    -It can't be.

               
Sneek:       -I have the paper from the estimation clerk. Now we caught you of tax 
              evasion!

               
Svensson:    -I don't understand this! I hired a declaration bureau to do my taxes.
              They looked through all my papers.

               
Sneek:       -That´s what everybody says. But you are the one who signed the papers,
              aren't you???

               
Svensson:    -Yeah, but..

               
Sneek:       -So, it's you who have to pay for it, don't you forget that!

               
Svensson:    -I don't understand these taxes, you know. I am just an ordinary 
              working man, and I don't know anything about these things.

               
Sneek:       -The jugde won't buy this. If you try that style in court, they will 
              nail you even more.

               
Svensson:    -Really?

               
Sneek:       -Yes, and then there was one more thing. Your free lunch at work?!

               
Svensson:    -But I don't have any free lunch. My wife makes me a lunch-box and 
              that's what I eat at work.

               
Sneek:       -This is exactly what I mean. This is what we call free lunch. You 
              haven't mentioned that at all in your declaration.

               
Svensson:    -But this can't be right.

               
Sneek:       -Right? You can get three months for that.

               
Svensson:    -I thought that free lunch is what you get for nothing at work.

               
Sneek:       -Well, but you do get your lunch for free.

               
Svensson:    -I have to buy the food first!

               
Sneek:       -Don't make excuses! You don't pay anything at work, do you?

               
Svensson:    -No, but it is my own food that I bring.

               
Sneek:       -Don't remark details? Okey, we forget about that, we put up nine
              hundred for the food and that's it. You have to pay much for the
              cottage anyway!

               
Svensson:    -This can't be true?

               
Sneek:       -Well, you can choose. If you want to have a trial, fine with me.

               
Svensson:    -No...

               
Sneek:       -Then you do as I said. It will cost you less.

               
Svensson:    -Really?

               
Sneek:       -But I have to leave the cottage to the judge.

               
Svensson:    -What?

               
Sneek:       -The cottage. It has to be a trial about it.

               
Svensson:    -Oh!

               
Sneek:       -We keep in touch.

               
Svensson:    -OK!

               
Sneek:       -Well, see you later.

               
Svensson:    -Good bye.

Sneek´s Phone Terror is also available in: