Sneekīs prank calls

Chapter 2
The Telephone Company is testing....


One day Sneek opened the telephone directory and found a nice elderly lady
at home. The following conversation took place:


               
Lady:        -123456.

               
Sneek:       -Good afternoon, it's your telephone company calling.

               
Lady:        -Yes, good afternoon.

               
Sneek:       -We are performing a test, because something is wrong in 
              this area. Is this number 123456?

               
Lady:        -Yes, it is.

               
Sneek:       -We would like to make some tests. Do you have a minute?

               
Lady:        -Yes I do.

               
Sneek:       -There is something wrong with the system. Has anybody 
              called you today?

               
Lady:        -No.

               
Sneek:       -That's exactly what I thought. I don't get it. Can you 
              count until five in the phone, quite loud please?

               
Lady:        -One, two, three, four, five.

               
Sneek:       -You forgot four!

               
Lady:        -No, I didn't.

               
Sneek:       -Strange. There must be something else wrong. Can you walk 
              two meters away from the phone and say something on "S"? 
              Sugar or sweet or something like that.

               
Lady:        -Do I have to put the receiver down?

               
Sneek:       -Yes, but donīt hang up.

               
Lady:        -OK. Just a moment.....Sugar, sweet, sugar, sweet, sugar, 
              sweet, sugar.....Hallo?

               
Sneek:       -Yes hallo!

               
Lady:        -Did you hear that?

               
Sneek:       -No, I still don't get it. Can you scratch the receiver!

               
Lady:        -Do I have to clean the receiver?

               
Sneek:       -No, you have to scratch it with your nails. Do it as hard as 
              you can.

               
Lady:        -OK!...........well, did you hear that?!

               
Sneek:       -Well, it was pretty bad. Do you have any crunchy chips at home?

               
Lady:        -Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Do you want some?
 
               
Sneek:       -He, he, can you go and get some, please. We shall break it into 
              pieces in the receiver, that should be very effective.

               
Lady:        -I see, just a moment.....(30sec).......Hallo?

               
Sneek:       -Yes hallo! Did you find any?

               
Lady:        -Yes, I found potatoe chips. What should I do with them?

               
Sneek:       -You must break some very close to the receiver, as close 
              as you can.

               
Lady:        -I see, just a moment. (a breaking sound).....Hallo?

               
Sneek:       -No, that wasn't good either. Can you chew some!

               
Lady:        -C-chew?

               
Sneek:       -Yes, you put them into your mouth and then chew.

               
Lady:        -I see, just a moment. (Chewing sounds.).....I'm chewing now.

               
Sneek:       -Well, we got some response here. I think that we have to 
              come and take a look at your phone. We have to do something 
              about it because it interferes with the system. Do you have 
              any pincers at home?

               
Lady:        -Yes.

               
Sneek:       -Can you go and get them, please?

               
Lady:        -Yes, just a moment..... Hallo! I have the pincers now. 
              What do you want me to do?

               
Sneek:       -Well, now you do exactly as I say. You have to pinch the 
              flex off.

               
Lady:        -Do I have to pinch the flex off????

               
Sneek:       -Yes, you see, your phone disturbes the system.
              Pinch the cord off as near as possible to the wall and 
              after a couple of hours we will come and install a new 
              phone for you!

               
Lady:        -But isnīt it enough if I just unplug the phone??

               
Sneek:       -No, it is not, because that way the system of your home 
              will still disturb all the neighbourhood.

               
Lady:        -I see, just a moment....*CLICK*.....

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