Sneek´s prank calls

Chapter 7
A long-distance call from Germany.


One day Sneek called a number that was very similar to his own. It is part 
of the story that Sneek's brother, alias "The Sack", was visiting him. 
The person who had the similar number appeared to be a very nice lady in 
her middle age.


               
Lady:        -123456.

               
Sneek:       -Long-distance call from Germany. (Sneek with disguised voice).

               
Lady:        -What!? Hallo? Something must be wrong. Hallo?....

               
Sneek:       -Hallo?

               
Lady:        -Yes, hallo. There must be something wrong. I don't know anybody 
              from Germany.

               
Sneek:       -Ferngesprech aus Deutschland.

               
Lady:        -Something must be wrong. You have got the wrong number.

               
Sneek:       -Hallo. Sprechen Sie Deutsch??

               
Lady:        -No, I don't speak German. I don't sprech German!

               
Sneek:       -Moment....(10sec) .......

               
Lady:        -Hallo, I will hang up!

               
Sneek:       -Hallo? Is this Lisa?

               
Lady:        -No! You have the wrong number. There is no Lisa here!

               
Sneek:       -Hallo, this is Anna and Otto. We are in Hamburg.

               
Lady:        -I don't know you. This is phone number 123456 in Stockholm.

               
Sneek:       -56? We wanted 57. I must have dialed wrong numbers. No, it was Otto
              who did it! Shame on you, Otto! (Smashing sounds and Otto screaming)

               
Lady:        -Hallo, I will hang up!

               
Sneek:       -Wait! Can you help us? We are in Hamburg and we don't have any money left!

               
Lady:        -Well, what can I do? I can't transfer your call but I can call them 
              and give a message. That is all I could do.

               
Sneek:       -Would you do that for us?

               
Lady:        -Yes, but where should I call?

               
Sneek:       -..eeh...what was your number?

               
Lady:        -123456

               
Sneek:       -It was 123457 (Sneek's phone number).Can you call there and tell them 
              that we are in Hamburg and that we need money?

               
Lady:        -Yes, but you must tell me your names.

               
Sneek:       -My name is Anna. (Sneek says that without changing his voice).

               
Lady:        -Anna??

               
Sneek:       -That's right!

               
Lady:        -Oh, I see! Just a moment, I'll write it down. Done. And who shall 
              I ask for?

               
Sneek:       -Lisa Sneek. Tell her that we are in Hamburg and we need money.

               
Lady:        -The number was 123457, right?!

               
Sneek:       -Exactly.

               
Lady:        -I tell them that Anna is in Hamburg and she needs money.

               
Sneek:       -That would be very nice of you. When are you going to call?

               
Lady:        -I will call them right now.

               
Sneek:       -Thank you so much.

               
Lady:        -You are welcome.

               
Sneek:       -Thanks, thanks. Bye!

               
Lady:        -Good bye.

               
After a little while Sneek's phone is ringing. "The Sack" is answering:

               
The sack:    -Hallo?

               
Lady:        -Good afternoon. May I speak to Lisa Sneek please.

               
The sack:    -She is working at the Nudy bar just now, but I can take care of it.

               
Lady:        -Well, you don't know me and I don't know you, but one lady
              from Germany called. Her name was Anna....

               
The sack:    -Oh, Anna! Did she call?

               
Lady:        -Yes. She dialed the wrong number and called me instead.

               
The sack:    -Well, she is crazy. We don't want to have anything to do with her.

               
Lady:        -I don't know her, but she called from Germany and asked me to tell you 
              that she needs money.

               
The sack:    -Booze, that's all she wants! She doesn't do anything but 
              drink. When she calls you again then just blow her up.

               
Lady:        -Well, but she won´t call me anymore. She just dialed the wrong 
              number. She was supposed to dial 123457, she said. They don't have any 
              money left.

               
The sack:    -Bloody bitch! She ran away from home and took the household money. 
              She has the nerv to call!?

               
Lady:        -Well, I don't know anything about that, but I gave you the message.

               
The sack:    -Thank you and good bye.

               
After five minutes Sneek calls the nice lady again:

               
Lady:        -123456.

               
Sneek:       -What? Again? Otto! You dialled the wrong number again. Shame on you!
              (sounds of smashing and Otto screaming again)

               
Lady:        -I will hang up!

               
Sneek:       -Wait! Hallo? Did you call them?

               
Lady:        -Eeeh, yes.

               
Sneek:       -Will they send me the money?

               
Lady:        -Eeeh, I don't think so.

               
Sneek:       -Oh, how terrible. And I don't have any money. (Sound of sobbing).
              What's gonna happen to me and poor Otto here in Hamburg? (Sound of 
              more sobbing).

               
Lady:        -Well, I don't know.

               
Sneek:       -The police will put us in jail if we don't pay for the hotel.

               
Lady:        -Oh dear!

               
Sneek:       -Could you borrow me some money? Hundred or so?

               
Lady:        -No, I'm sorry but i don't have that much.

               
Sneek:       -What about ten? Ten is enough.

               
Lady:        -Well, I don't know.

               
Sneek:       -It is so awful here. (Sound of sobbing). Please!

               
Lady:        -But how would I do?

               
Sneek:       -You just put the money in an envelope and send it to us.
              I promise, I'll pay it back as soon as I get home.

               
Lady:        -Okey. What's your address?

               
Sneek:       -Well, do you have a pen?

               
Lady:        -Yes.

               
Sneek:       -Anna Sneek, room 333.

               
Lady:        -Anna Sneek, room 333.

               
Sneek:       -And it is Hotel Scheisswurst (means shit sausage in German).

               
Lady:        -What?

               
Sneek:       -Well, I spell it to you. Hotel S C H E I S S W U R S T.

               
Lady:        -S C H E I S S W U R S T.

               
Sneek:       -Exactly, and then Hamburg, Germany.

               
Lady:        -So it is Anna Sneek, room 333, Hotel Scheisswurst, Hamburg, Germany.

               
Sneek:       -Right. It would be very nice of you if you send it as soon as possible. 
               
               
Lady:        -Well, I'll send it today.

               
Sneek:       -Thank you so much. I promise you will get it back. Remeber to
              write the sender on the envelope, so I know where to return the money.   
               
               
Lady:        -I will.

               
Sneek:       -Thank you so much.

               
Lady:        -You are welcome. Good bye.

               
Sneek:       -Good bye.

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